Insights from a Trauma Therapist in Atlanta: Building Healthy Relationships

When you grow up in a family with toxic or unhealthy dynamics, it’s not very likely that you learned many, if any, relationship skills to foster healthy adult relationships. You might find it difficult to trust that others will value your thoughts and feelings enough to open up about things. This can create a sense of feeling as though you don’t know who you are or are always going along with the ideas of others, even when you don’t want to. It may be that you have tried to share, but your ideas get brushed aside. Here are some healthy relationship skills that might help you navigate your adult relationships better. 

Trauma Therapy Can Help You let go of childhood wounds that are interfering with your relationships today.

Understanding how our past is affecting us today is vital to a healthy relationship. Your past can influence how you engage with your partner, how you view and resolve conflict, how you view your partner's motives for their behavior, and so much more. If there is a high level of conflict in your relationship, you or your partner might be wrestling with something from your past.

Trauma therapy can help you Build trust and learn to trust after traumatic or toxic relationships 

Lack of trust in a relationship is a destructive hidden wedge. A relationship that lacks trust is an infection smoldering with a dangerous virus. 

Trust is the foundation of any great relationship, but it’s common in the aftermath of trauma to struggle with trusting others. So it’s vital for you to learn to trust other people. This can be done by healing old trauma wounds. To decrease and even alleviate negative effects on your life. That process will include learning how to have a voice in your relationships and to set healthy boundaries that will give you a sense of safety. 

Trust can be built by honoring the healthy boundaries of those you have relationships with, which can bring greater depth to the relationship. Following through with what you have agreed to do can also build trust. If you say you will stop and pick something up on your way home from work and you don’t, it sends a message that you aren’t reliable. It’s okay if you forgot, but make sure to take responsibility for that mistake with your partner and follow through on what you agreed to do as soon as possible. 

Effective communication

Effective communication includes listening to understand the other person’s perspective on something. The more you can view a situation from the perspective of others, the greater your ability to come to a compromise when conflict arises. Understanding the perspective of others can help you respond less defensively. It can help you understand the true motives behind why another person has chosen certain behaviors and decrease the potential for you to wonder if their behaviors are about you. 

Healthy Boundaries

I’ve touched on a little bit of this already. Boundaries are important within any relationship because they create predictability, which leads to feelings of safety within the relationship. Healthy boundaries ensure the needs of both parties in a relationship are being met. It also means there is a balance between you and your partner in which both of you get to have a voice in what happens in the relationship. But you have to be willing to speak up and share with your partner what you need and want in the relationship. When there are healthy boundaries within a relationship and those boundaries are respected, there is a greater depth that can develop. 

Compromise and negotiate.

It’s inevitable that you will eventually run into a situation where you and your partner want something different in the moment. He or she may want to watch a different movie than you do or go out when you would prefer to stay in for the night. If you can’t come to an agreement on it, then it might be time to decide that this time you will do what your partner agrees to do and that next time you get to pick the movie or activity for the night. 

If you feel you could use some help in applying these steps, then reach out. I would be happy to hear about what is happening and share with you how I can help. You can request a free 15-minute phone consultation by calling (678) 744-5369 or by clicking here. I specialize in helping trauma survivors feel calm; overwhelmed, and depressed women to calm the chaos; anxious people feel safe and worry less; toxic relationship survivors feel more confident; and parents raising a traumatized child feel less traumatized themselves.